Gift.

When I was a young child, I used to camp out around our Christmas tree and carefully count each and every present lying under the twinkling lights. "I have ELEVEN presents, Mommy, and Boyda only has EIGHT!" I would gleefully proclaim (I was more about quantity than quality in those days). Those presents would be organized to my liking, with the biggest ones marked, "To Hillary, from Santa" in the very front and the ones marked, "To Boyda, from Santa" in the very back. I would sit and dream about what each box contained, and correspond each present to toys found on the dog-earred pages of my Christmas Bible, The Sears WishBook.

(What would a Christmas blog post be without Hillary's Scraggly-Haired Christmas photo?)

On Christmas Eve, I tried to contain my excitement and pretend to be asleep as my mom tip-toed into my room and packed my Christmas stocking (our family tradition is to put the stocking on our bedpost, rather than the mantle). Christmas morning would come, and I would be the first out of bed. I'd trundle on over to my sister's bed with my fat stocking in hand and wake her up; together we'd see what exciting stocking stuffers my mumsy had surprised us with that year. Then, 8 o'clock would come and we'd wake our parents up and open presents. Mom would smile broadly in anticipation of our reactions, and make veiled comments like, "Oh, girls, I wonder what Santa has brought you this year...Why don't you start with THAT present, Hillary? Ooooh, Boyda, maybe save that one for later..."

I would rip open the wrapping paper in haste while my older sister would take her time with each fold, enjoying the process. I would recognize those gifts from the WishBook, and proudly pile my presents around me in a sort of "Hillary Kingdom." The only break in my self-centeredness would come when my mom or dad picked up their gift from me and opened it...I remember holding my breath and watching nervously as my mom admired my wrapping job and slowly undid the first corner of tape. Will she like it?!? I thought. Will she know I gave her this gift because I really, really love her? I asked myself. The answers to these questions, pondered in the heart of a child, became the most important things in the universe at that moment. I thought I might die if my mom didn't like my present.

And yet every single time, my mom would unwrap my present to her and gasp in astonishment and surprise. "Hillary, it's beautiful!!" she would exclaim with shining eyes and a big smile on her face. As a little girl, the wave of relief would wash over me and I'd be filled with joy. As an older child, I came to recognize that sometimes my mom's "amazed" reaction to my gifts seemed more obligatory than genuine...yet I still appreciated her effort. It didn't matter if my gift was something she had bought for herself "on Hillary's behalf" or if I had hand-crafted a less-than-fridge-worthy piece of art--she expressed her love and grace for me in those moments.


It was a glorious, magical, unique time.


Now, as an adult, I no longer pour over the Sears WishBook or count the presents under the tree. Christmas instead seems to sneak up on me, and I find I have to actively work to get my Christmas carol quota in and find time to watch all the traditional Christmas movies. The Christmas magic I knew as a child is much harder to appropriate as an adult...and this holiday could quite easily pass me by if I didn't make an effort to focus on it and stir up the holy wonder surrounding Christ's birth. But today I had a revelation...and a bit of that child-like Christmas spirit lit up in my heart.


This is what I realized. Just as a father and mother take joy in giving presents to their children at Christmas, so my Papa-God has great presents for me, His daughter this Christmas! 


Papa-God has Christmas presents to give His children! Ah! They may be unseen or they may be promises of something to come, but regardless they are presents He desires to give to His kids this Christmas to celebrate the birth of His Son. We serve a God who loves to give gifts to His kids! We see this in Scripture: 


How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! (1 John 3:1)...Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights (James 1:17)...So don't be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom! (Luke 12:32)...For unto us a Child (Christ) is born; unto us a son is given (Isaiah 9:6)

If God gave His own Son to us as a gift, to what end of His Love can there be? What good and perfect gift does He desire to lavish upon me this Christmas season? Oh, how excited am I! I wait with expectancy for Christmas morning to come, that I might see the gifts He has for me!

And I wait with expectancy for Christmas morning to come, that I might know His reaction to the Christmas gift I have made for Him. 


This year, I am going to give Papa-God a Christmas gift. Professionally made it may not be, yet it will be made with love and care. And I will wait with bated breath and butterflies in my stomach when He opens His gift from me...even though I know that as my mom delighted in the gift from her young child, so my God will delight in the gift from His daughter. He may even put it on His fridge.


 I can't wait.